Attention Parents: Nobody Is Going To Give Your Kid Their Stash On Halloween

in Daily New Bite/Humor/News by

Halloween is in a few days and that means police departments across the country are posting urgent warnings to parents about “druggies” who may poison their little snowflakes on the big day. A few days ago I was sitting in front of my television in my Florida abode when suddenly a detective appeared on my local news and warned that people who smoke the pot may slip a few THC-infused lollipops into my son’s bag on Tuesday and it seems Florida parents are not the only people being warned of this. According to FOX 29 News Philadelphia:

Officials in Gloucester County issued a warning to parents and trick or treaters on Thursday to beware of marijuana ‘gummie’ candy this Halloween. According to the state’s Department of Health, there is a significant presence of marijuana candy and other edible forms in New Jersey and other nearby states….”Parents need to be aware and check for unusual candy packaging. If they suspect their child has received marijuana candy they should immediately contact their local police department,” and Freeholder Jim Jefferson, Liaison to the Addictions Task Force explained.

OH MY GOD! NOT THE MARIJUANA CANDY!


RELATED: Former Prosecutor Wants To Know Why ‘Mind Altering, Unsafe’ Marijuana Doesn’t Have A Warning Label


The various reports about this super scary possibility had me wondering: How often has this actually happened?

The answer is: It hasn’t.

According to the Los Angeles Times the warnings came after a boy found edibles in his parents’ car and got sick:

The warning cites the case of a 10-year-old New York boy who police said became ill after eating candy infused with cannabis found in the back seat of his family’s car, but that had nothing to do with Halloween. Advocates say marijuana candy has seemingly become the new “razor blades in the apples” Halloween urban myth, with police around the country sharing the message despite the lack of any known cases.

And in 2014, the Washington Post reported that kids are 136 times more likely to be poisoned by diaper cream than weed. And although cases of children accidentally eating weed rose by 19% from 2009 to 2015, there are still no documented cases (that I could find) of a stoner giving away his stash on Halloween.

Here’s the deal, edibles are expensive and if you live in a state like Florida, they are hard to come by. Why in the world would someone go through all of the trouble of smuggling edibles into their state and then just give them out to our snot-nosed kids in their neighborhood because they put a cute princess dress on or dressed up like Superman? They wouldn’t and if someone was doing that, you can be damn sure all of us parents would be lining up at their door begging them to load our kids’ bags up so mommy and daddy could have some fun while we walked 75 blocks door-to-door with our kids.

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