In a new segment that aired last night entitled ‘25 Things You Don’t Know About Melania Trump’, Bill Maher takes hilarious aim at the first lady in all of her plastic glory.
Melania is appearing on the next cover of Us Weekly, a magazine that regularly runs an article called ’25 Things You Don’t Know About Me’, in which celebrities list odd quirks and little-known facts about themselves. Maher’s list imagines that Melania is taking part in the article, and hilariously lists 25 “facts” about her that she ostensibly feels people don’t know.
And why wouldn’t she? The mostly silent first lady plays her role as Donald Trump’s arm candy like the professional she is, but what about the real Melania? There has got to be a living, breathing woman under all that makeup and botox who has insecurities and faults just like the rest of us peasants, right?
Maher’s “facts” rang from funny:
In Slovenia, I was a catalogue model, which is what you call a model you order out of a catalogue.
In order to speed things up, I let him call me Ivanka
Did anyone else just throw up in their mouth a little bit? It’s not funny because its probably true.
And our personal favorite:
If I could tell my younger self just one thing it would be this: If you catch a leprechaun and he gives you a wish, be more specific.
Be more specific, indeed. Like maybe name the rich guy you want to marry rather than just leaving it up to the universe and getting stuck with this douchebag.
Are you sure these are totally made up, Bill Maher? Because statements like “I feel I share a bond with the thousands of American women who have also slapped Donald’s hand away” and “I hope I inspire little girls everywhere to marry for money” sound like they came straight from the source.