Duck Dynasty Patriarch Wants To Know If Democrats Love Jesus

in Daily New Bite/Hate Group/Politics/Religion/Republican Hypocrisy/Republican Lies/Republican Stupidity by

Growing up, we’re taught that there’s no such thing as a stupid question. If applied to children, it’s true. They don’t have the life experience to guide judgment-making, and asking questions is the only way they can learn.

There’s a different standard for adults, though. This was demonstrated by Phil Robertson when he took the Values Voters Summit this week and announced to the audience that he had a question for Democrats: Do they love Jesus?


Related: Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson Thumps His Bible, Denounces Transgender ‘Mob Mentality’ (TWEETS)


Of course, this question, like most questions asked by Robertson’s type, carries a deeper meaning: that there’s something wrong with people who don’t embrace the divinity of Jesus.

I’m almost tempted to ask the Democratic Party four little words: “Do y’all love Jesus?” The reason I’m asking you, Democratic Party, is I’ve never heard you say one way or the other! Do you love Him? And I’m waiting on an answer.

I want to ask CNN that. CBS. MSNBC. Do you folks love Jesus, because I’ve never heard you say, one way or the other, or maybe, do you hate Him? Do you love Him or do you hate Him? I unashamedly say I love Him. I will tell anybody that.

He’s also unashamed to admit he loves 15-year-old girls, too.

Now, you might be tempted to ask: why does this matter? People have a job to do, and so long as they do that job, it doesn’t matter if they believe in Jesus or not.  And ultimately, it doesn’t matter. But like saying “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas,” the very notion there are people who believe differently from them has these snowflakes triggered something fierce. They need their safe space, you know.

For the record, I can only assume Democrats do. 91% of Congress was Christian in 2015. Since Republicans didn’t own 91% of Congress, I can only assume that there are at least a few Democrats who identify as Christian.


Related: Remember That Time Trump ‘Hated’ Christmas Just As Much As Liberals


Now, given that I’ve mentioned twice now that Robertson loves some young’uns, you might be tempted to ask why this man would be speaking at a “Values Voter Summit.” It does make sense — nothing qualifies “values” in that statement. And they do have values — jackassery, bigotry, hate, racism, venal treason, xenophobia, support for rape, and general moral turpitude are all values. Nobody said they were positive values, but they’re values all the same.

And all of them are on display in the Republican Party — so does it really matter if they claim to love Jesus? They sure as fuck don’t care about you.

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