Jimmy Kimmel Writer’s Description Of Trump’s Speaking Style Is Spot-On

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Bess Kalb is a staff writer for Jimmy Kimmel, award winner and one of our favorite Trump trolls. She is also one of the many Americans that the president of the United States has blocked on Twitter because he’s a giant man-child. On Tuesday, she managed to make me giggle before I had properly caffeinated with a 100 percent accurate description of Trump’s speaking style, likely a response to his speech in Ohio on Monday.

According to Kalb, the POTUS speaks to America, the same way she speaks when she is hungover:


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When you think back at his speeches over the last couple of years, that is exactly what he sounds like. In fact, his speech was so weird on Monday, that CNN published an article titled,”The 45 most astonishing lines from Donald Trump’s ‘treasonous’ speech.” Let’s take a look at a few:

  • “Remember two things. Number one, I said, we’re going to be saying Christmas again. And, number two, I said I was going to give you a Christmas present.” [Lie]
  • “Oh, but did we catch them in the act, or what? You know what I’m talking — oh, did we catch them in the act? They never thought they were going to get caught. We caught them. Hey, we caught them. It’s so much fun. We’re like the great sleuth.” [Lie]
  • “I think we’re going to do well in ’18. I think we’re going to do well in ’18. I think we’re going to do very well.” [Lie]
  • “[Democrats] don’t care about the security of our country. They don’t care about MS-13 killers pouring into our country.” [Lie]
  • “Oh, we’re building the wall. Believe me. We’re building the wall. Don’t even think about it.” [Lie]

We’re all gonna die.

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