Neurologist Explains Why You’re Unsettled By Ted Cruz’s Creepy Ass Face

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Ted Cruz is facing heat from his challenger for his Senate seat. While we analyze his chances of winning the race in November, we are all unsettled by that man being in the Senate again. Even if you aren’t aware of his terrible policies and actions, there’s just something about him that seems… off. Some say it’s his resemblance to Eddie Munster, but it goes deeper than that.

According to neurologist, Dr. Richard E. Cytowic, at George Washington University, some of our dislike for Cruz is instinctual. Yes, instinctual. There are psychological reasons we dislike his creepy ass face. He wrote:

I have rarely, if ever, seen a conventional smile from Senator Cruz. In a natural smile the corners of the mouth go up; these muscles we can control voluntarily as well. But muscles circling the eyes are involuntary only; they make the eyes narrow, forming crow’s feet at the outside corners. No matter the emotional coloring of Senator Cruz’s outward rhetoric, his mouth typically tightens into the same straight line. If it deviates from this, the corners of his mouth bend down, not upwards. Downturned expressions usually signal disagreeableness or disgust. But I honestly don’t know because such an expression is rare in the context of public presentations that are meant to win people over.

Now, he’s not implying that Cruz is a robot. At least, we don’t think so. What he IS suggesting is that Cruz does not have natural expressions and that makes us feel like he’s a shifty, little man. Oh, wait. He is shifty. That man is shifty as hell and looking at his face confirms it. It is really kind of creepy that his face cannot form a smile.


RELATED: Ted Cruz’s Twitter Cover Photo Perfectly Exemplifies Why The GOP Is Doomed


For illustration, we have provided you with some pictures of said Republican-bot. We apologize in advance if they make you feel… uneasy.


He looks like he’s taken a bite of something a little too spicy, doesn’t he?

We call this, “Constipation: A Study Of Cruz.”


This just looks like apologetic confusion.


We aren’t sure what’s happening here. He looks like he’s trying to steady himself before falling – and by “before falling”, we mean falling straight out of the Senate.

If you have ever found yourself feeling put off by Cruz’s face, and kind of felt bad about it, it’s alright: it’s SCIENCE.

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